I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
