no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She's JV to your varsity
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize