You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
