Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Randomize
