I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
