No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
