And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
