He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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