my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
