Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
