i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
