So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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