She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The feeling are messing with the penis
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
