I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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