i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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