I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
