i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
