so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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