is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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