I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Rumble strips road head = magical
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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