Kiss
Puke
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
