Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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