He is an equal opportunity slut.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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