We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
