she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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