We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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