I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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