So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
