How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i drank out of a bidet.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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