ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just forgot I was standing up.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
