We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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