i may or may not be watching the land before time
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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