Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
