A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
