i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
