The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
