i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
