Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
