i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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