it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
