my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
