Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
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