So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize