I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
home. puking in laundry basket.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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