So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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