garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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