Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
