Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
