i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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