Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
