:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
