mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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