sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize