3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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