he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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