idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
