i jhust puked up my retainher.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
