Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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