ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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