i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
