Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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